Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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