Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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