i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
