Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
