I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
