You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
