Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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