How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
