Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
should my penis look like a turkey
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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