Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
