I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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