Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize