I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
