I'm going to jail i love you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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