i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
