Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
