This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
