It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
