Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
