You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
