I just cut my nipple shaving
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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