dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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