dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
