I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
