K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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