Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
