if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
