I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
