I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
