I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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