i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
