is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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