woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
