There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
why is half of my head shaved?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
