Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
