this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
