I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
