windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
