You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
