Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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