found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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