I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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