you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
