yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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