I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You can't special order awesome
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Randomize
