my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
