I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
