Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
