My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
