My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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