She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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