...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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