Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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