Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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