She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
