You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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