So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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