Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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